Wednesday, December 20, 2017


      "I WANT U TO PUNISH ME" I tell her.

     "That's not going to happen," she said.
It's an absolute refusal.

H: "We've been together for over a year. You refuse to have any kind of sex with me.
You won't talk about sex with me."
      "It's been over a year now," the preacher said, "And it seems clear to me that my manhood is is shrinking!"
       "How often do you measure it?" Holly asks:
"Every ten minutes?"
        It seems to me at that instant that she was trying not to laugh."

H: "You go out with other men and you have sex with  them...

Tanya (T): "Yeah?"

H: Last night you asked me if the idea of being locked in a chastity belt -- if it aroused me...
       I can tell you now. It arouses me like crazy! if you hold the key and you tell me what to do, give me orders."

T: Yes, I remember that... but that was yesterday... Now I have no interest... why could U ever find that arousing?"

(H) Harry:  I
 love  you. You're the  one I want to have sex with.... but U CUT ME OFF!..........You refuse to even discuss the subject! It seems to me I'm already wearing a chastity belt -- one that's impossible to get off!
             I don't want to penetrate anyone else. Being in love can really trap you...Or being obsessed with someone's  magnetic ass... Then there's nowhere a man in love can go.
            I want to be near you, but from the very beginning you cut me off sex. Now I'm really getting obsessed. And with you it's not your ass that drives me mad --- it's also your mind.
           I've fallen in love with your mind.

           Once I said to you, "I'm involved
 with you right up to my knees, " I said.
           "Oh, I think you're involved deeper than that,"she said.
           "How true that statement is!"I thought later.
            " You've known it all along...  "

            "I'm well and truly fucked this time, and there's going to be no easy way out. I got close to
you  last night.  The draw is deep. The penetration is complete. Only it's you who's doing the penetrating.
             "Sure, I'll wear a chastity belt for you any time. I'll wear one of those tight steel ones,
one that there's no way out of..."
              The fact is - I'm already locked in chastity on your behalf. You've forbidden me sex. It's been a long time. I'm forbidden to talk about sex, also.
             I'm in chastity, all right. At your mercy.
And I don't see any mercy coming. I think you're enjoying a certain satisfaction - at the spot I find myself in this very moment.
        You've got me by the balls. I know it's true because of the throbbing in my dangling parts. They're pretty much always throbbing now.              And they feel heavier, as well. It's progressive.

                *         *         *

This story's about a drama I went through intensely some years ago. This is a psychological state of mind anyone can get into.Especially if you're wired this way. I've been here before...  Do I want it to happen again? Likely I do.
         Passion is passion, it's a gift whenever it comes.. And any time you can act through the drama of a repressed childhood fetish, do it!


         As far as I'm concerned, the most powerful dramas emerge from those murky smells, feelings and closet-corners of childhood. These are the dramas we tend to re-enact through our lives.
        We all have such repressed dramas from the personal pre-history of our childhoods.

        Why do we want to uncover these monsters from the deep?
Why? It's because these monsters bring treasure with them. The sort of treasure that can re-awaken passion in our lives, sexual passion is very dear. We are talking about the truths expressed in fairy tales
        Also, there is this fact - the repressed emotions, fears and power-lusts that are suppressed with the suppression of a fetish - these repressed feelings are the wellsprings of all parts of our lives. This is uncontested.

      Why don't we unlock these doors hidden deep in our psyches?  It is often because our ego-states in childhood cannot bear to unveil the shame and guilts repressed. We continue
these repressions into adulthood... we maintain the same fears.
But when we are adults, we are strong enough to open these dark doors, if we have the assistance of a sexual partner.
       These fetishes and neurotic repetitions are deeply embarrassing - so they are the very last things we want to face.
These repressed experiences are highly-charged. And once a door is opened, all kinds of energy is released into our lives, not just sexual energy.

       You don't study this stuff unless you have no choice. Obviously I had no choice. I appear to be subject to 3 or 4
fetishes at least. Usually these fetishes are inter-related, but not always...

      Remember, neurotic cycles of repetition can become repressed psychotic cycles of repetition... and it is out of such unconscious repetitive madnesses of suppression that serial killers are born.
       So it is necessary for us to understand such things, to put our arms into the writhing snake-barrel of emotions and emerge with the gold... It is exceedingly good for us to do this personally.

        And at-large socially, it is necessary for us to understand these things and have healers who can deal with those doomed to undergo repeatedly murderous agendas.

       People undergo "lives of quiet desperation" primarily because they do not undercover these wellsprings.

***  Often it is the masochist who is in control of
       psycho-sexual dramas.

(C) 2017 by W.G. Milne